Limbo
by Toffee Fox
Summary: Cobalt has something of an out-of-body experience. Meanwhile, Atom is left to deal with the mess he has left behind.


A flash of bright light... and then they all fell, swiftly but silently. These beasts were no more... but then, were they really just beasts, after all? They were intelligent... they could speak, and all they were doing was feeding... the arrogance of man think that they were monsters for doing as such; but then the creatures were just as arrogant...

A soft cry lured him out of his thoughts. Someone was calling his name, searching for him... _For him? Ha. Yeah, that'd be awfully rich..._ Oh? There... ah. It was his brother, the only person who _would_ care enough to bother looking for him...

"Cobalt? Cooooo-balllllllt..." There he was, just wandering around, looking for him... he guessed. He watched him for a moment, before suddenly remembering that he should probably answer him. After what had just happened, he certainly wouldn't want to leave his older brother waiting...

But when he did, Atom did not seem to hear him. Frowning, he tried to call a bit louder, but the results were the same. Around this time, he noticed that everything sounded somewhat distant. His brother's voice was not much louder than before, even though he was closer; and it sounded as though he was deep underwater... _or, maybe _he _was underwater... _it was sort of hard to tell. He wasn't even sure if he could hear _himself_ speak.

His brother called out for him again- only to stop mid-syllable. He paused, and for a split second, Cobalt wondered what he could be looking at, when suddenly, Atom let out an odd strangled noise. Cobalt turned to see what it was his brother was staring at and-

Oh.

It was an odd experience, staring at his own mangled body, burnt and twisted and just lying there, on the ground, like so much of the debris scattered around it. Singed wires poked out of openings that should not have been there; gaping holes had been burnt into his skin, through which he could see fused circuit boards, melted beyond recognition or repair; and at first he was fairly certain that he was missing an arm, until a closer look at it revealed that it was still there, badly melted and twisted out of shape, and barely attached to the rest of the body by a melted strand, cooling in the heavy, still air.

He felt oddly apathetic over the sight of his former shell, though- but then, he had been feeling oddly detached since the moment of the explosion. As if he was having an out-of-body experience... But, weren't humans the only ones that could do that? Surely, the individual experiencing the sensation must at least be able to be considered _alive,_ not a glorified mechanical doll. But, this was the only way to describe what he was seeing, as he was actually _seeing_ his own burnt-out shell from a first-person perspective (or was it second? He really didn't know).

He looked on with a vague curiosity, before a sound from his twin gave him pause, caused him to worry a little bit- feel for the first time since the end of the battle. A horrible, heart-rending scream wrenched itself from Atom's throat, painful and inhuman sounding. He was kneeling, now; he slowly, as if afraid, reached out to touch what had once been his only brother's burnt and ruined body. He gently- so very gently- lifted what Cobalt could only assume was once his own torso, into his lap, cradling the head (?) like he would an infant's. A dry, strangled sob escaped his open mouth, his voice cracking as Cobalt watched on.

He watched as his brother tried, in vain, to speak, to say his name once more... but all that left his quivering lips was stuttering and more pitiful, cracked sobs. Cobalt felt a sudden, horrible aching- a pain he knew was not his own. He felt a touch of sadness and guilt form in the pit of his stomach- or where his stomach would be, if had one right now. He distantly wondered how he was even watching and feeling anything at all. He "walked" up to his brother. However bad things may have looked, he knew that he was fine- was still alive. And he intended to comfort his brother by telling him as such.

Once again, he was unheard. Cobalt frowned in vague frustration. Why didn't he hear him? Maybe he couldn't, over the sound of his own keening wails? But even when Cobalt shouted at him, screamed at him, even, he was never heard. "Brother... brother, it is all right... I am here... I am fine... please do not be sad, brother... I hate to see you cry... please, don't..."

_I am fine... I am right here; do not worry... part of me is still here. Surely I can be put back together again... then we can be as before... happy, the way we should be... I am okay; I must be, or I would not be able to say these things... I am okay... I am... okay..._

_I am..._

_I am..._

_I am not..._

… _dead._

* * *

A week passed. Then another. Though he tried, Dr. Ochanomizu could not figure out how to salvage the remains... to bring him back from the edge of death. It was eventually decided that Cobalt was irreparably damaged, and could not be brought back or saved. They could find no signs that he was even alive in there. A few weeks more passed, and then Higeoyaji suggested that maybe they should do something, "Y'know, to... honor his memory, and the like." A small ceremony was put together. Higeoyaji, Atom's parents (who had never actually met Cobalt before, as he stayed and worked at the Ministry of Science, assisting Dr. Ochanomizu with his work wherever and whenever he could), Ochanomizu, Detective Tawashi, and Atom's friends attended. What was left of the body was put into small, wooden box, carried to the site of the small and private headstone he was to be buried under by Higeoyaji and Tawashi. It wouldn't last a month under the damp soil.

Ochanomizu stood and delivered a heartfelt eulogy. Tawashi said his piece, calling Cobalt a "hero" for what he'd done. Higeoyaji said a few kind words, then Atom's parents, and finally his friends, none of which having known him particularly well, or having even met him. Atom just stood there, a blank look on his face, never once saying a word. Finally, the small box was put in the hole in the ground before the headstone, covered with dirt until nothing of the small hole remained except for turned earth. After that, everyone left- everyone except Atom, still standing there, with that inscrutable expression on his face.

He approached the headstone slowly, raising his hand to lightly brush the white marble with his fingertips. He heard footsteps coming up from behind him. He did not need to turn to see who it was; he already knew by the sound of their gait. Sure enough, Higeoyaji came up beside him, smiling sadly at him and resting his hand on his right shoulder. So Atom put on a similar facade, and greeted his teacher in a slightly huskier voice than he had intended.

"Hello, Teacher."

"Hello there, Atom."

A brief pause passed between them. Then...

"So, uh... how are you holding up?"

"As about as well as could be expected, I suppose."

"Ah. Well then."

…

"Teacher?"

"Mm...?"

"Why did you come here today?"

"Eh? What kind of question is that?"

Atom turned to face his teacher, a look of sincere curiosity on his face. "You didn't know my brother very well. You had hardly even met him. So why did you even come here? I did not think that humans mourned the deaths of those that they weren't related to, or that they didn't know very well."

Higeoyaji considered him for a moment, then turned to face the headstone, his gaze somewhere above and past it, but not really focused on anything. "... Well, sometimes we just need to be there for our friends. Y'know, the ones who were close or related to the deceased, and so feel it more deeply than others. It's called morale support," he said, turning back to face Atom, placing his hand on his small shoulder once more. "Sometimes it helps us, to have others we care about around us in our time of need."

Atom stared at him thoughtfully for a moment, then turned and knelt in front of the tombstone, his hand resting on top of it. "Oh," was all he said. They stayed this way for a moment, Atom's head bowed before his younger sibling's grave.

"... Teacher..." Atom said finally. "... If you don't mind... I think that I'd- that I'd like to be alone. With him. For now." Higeoyaji said nothing. Atom felt him squeeze his shoulder once, then he heard him walk away. Finally, he heard nothing but the sounds of the forest around the small clearing Cobalt had been buried in.

He had been the one to choose this location, because he had once found his brother here, lost in deep thought. He had been taking a walk, after having temporarily given up a fruitless search for his brother beforehand, when he had gotten somewhat lost and turned around in this forest here. After some wandering, he came upon this quiet, peaceful clearing, where he found his brother, sitting and meditating, it seemed, quite by accident.

His brother had not seemed to mind his intrusion, however, once he had gotten over his initial surprise, and had heard how he had been discovered in the first place. He told Atom that he came here on occasion to cool his thoughts and clear his head. He went on to detail how he had first come upon this place: like Atom,he had gotten himself a bit lost, after walking off in a fit one day to try and calm his mind. He came upon the clearing, in full growth in early spring, flowers blooming and leaves dancing on the branches. So he stayed here for a while, and after he finally made his way back out of the forest, he made it a point to come back here every so often, picking faster routes everytime he ventured back into the forest.

He eventually took to exploring the forest and the caves and clearings therein, describing his favorite places in the distant, rural area that few ever ventured to. He described the different ways everything looked in all the different seasons, taking special care with the description of his favorite clearing. Atom looked around himself. Now, it was autumn, the leaves all changing colors to hues of red and orange and gold, and falling to the ground, to be swept up by the chilly breeze blowing about him. The colder season had crept upon rather quickly, after Cobalt's apparent passing. When he had first come upon him in this clearing, it was in the middle of summer, the glade wonderfully shaded by the thick branches of green leaves. Everything was green then, even the ground. Now, the ground was brown, damp, and slightly muddy, the occasional tuft of dried brown grass, long since dead, sticking out of the cold, hard earth. He didn't like the sight of it, so dull and lifeless. It should be alive, and healthy, full of energy; not cold and dreary on this overcast day.

… Like _he_ should still be.

Atom had never regretted anything more in his entire life than those last few moments in the war against those creatures. He knew it wouldn't end until one or both of the combatants were dead, and he had felt sad and a little guilty that it had to end that way. But, given the choice, he knew whose side he was on. He could not forgive the reptiles for what they had done.

It had been Cobalt's idea. When the lizards had brought out their ultimate weapon, he was the one who determined the fatal flaw in it's design- had robots like him or Atom not been present in that battle, it would've have been a complete non-issue for the lizards otherwise. But they _had_ been there, and they fully intended to use this to their advantage. Go around, behind the machine, he had said; it could be sneaked up on, and then subsequently sabotaged by twisting the cannon shut, causing it to overload.

Atom had intended to do this himself, but Cobalt had intervened- he had likely thought it was too dangerous to risk the more important of the two. Thus, he pushed Atom aside, and went in himself. The resulting explosion should not have been fatal- he had pushed himself past his limits to get their fast enough without getting caught, and could not do so again when it came time to get away. The cannon overloaded faster than anyone expected... and...

Atom could never- _would_ never- forgive himself for this. He knew that Cobalt was a relatively slow flier... he should have insisted... he could have prevented this, and now, it was far too late... Cobalt was gone now, and all that remained of him was sealed in an airtight, waterproof vacuum bag, stuck in a paltry little wooden box that somehow, was just way too small for his liking. No one that small should have to be buried. Granted, it's not like Cobalt would've ever grown any bigger than that, but the thought of a small child being put into the ground, when he had barely begun to live- his _brother,_ his only brother- no, he could not deal with this, he just couldn't; not his brother, not his _twin_, his equal... his best friend... _no... no..._

… _Cobalt..._

* * *

He watched him for the longest time. The shadows grew long, the wind became colder. Finally, the sun had almost set, before Atom finally picked himself off of the ground, having grown quiet as the time went on. He wiped his face carelessly, gazed at the headstone for a long moment, then turned and left the clearing, probably heading back home... or somewhere else; he could not say. He wondered if he'd ever come back. He wondered why the others even came in the first place; he did not want them here. He barely knew them. He'd never met some of them before, either. He wished they'd stay well away from this, _his,_ sanctuary. No one was allowed here. No one but himself, and his twin.

Cobalt wondered if anyone would ever realize that he wasn't dead quite just yet.

* * *

**AN: Muahahahaaaa. This could've been done a bit better, but... ANGST. You gotta love it.**

**This is based loosely off of the manga, with a few headcanons thrown in. It takes place immediately after the Midoro Swamp story arc. For those of you who don't know, the story originally had a different ending than what is shown in the collection published by Dark Horse. It was supposed to be Cobalt, not Atom (Astro), that saved the day- but at a fatal cost. Tezuka eventually decided to change his mind, thinking that it wasn't very good to kill off a character who had only been in three or four stories. So he went back and changed the ending to the Midoro Swamp story arc. It was a very long time before Cobalt was ever seen again, however: he was reintroduced in the same story that introduced Atom's little sister, Uran. However, he behaved like he was new, and had a slightly different personality (though granted, seeing as he had only a few prior appearances in the series thus far, it would be hard to tell what his personality was originally like in the first place). Some believe that Ochanomizu built a new Cobalt for the occasion, but that makes no sense, as there would've been no need to go back and rewrite the Midoro Swamp ending, if that was the case. The end of the story before the Uran arc, which was when she first appeared, alongside Cobalt, would've explained that- or the actual story would've offered an explanation.**

**But what do I know, really? Just going on and babbling about Astro Boy theories again, I suppose...**

**This is your not-so-lovely author, Toffee Fox, signing out!  
**


End file.
